68 degrees and the sun is shining. We are all settling into our respective schedules. Me at practicum and school and cleaning; my daughter preparing for her baby due next month and her searching with her boyfriend for a job; my son working at a restaurant and beginning his final year of art school. Ok. So, that's where we are.
Now the fun part; we all have to keep our heads above water. I think we can do it, all of us, but, only with the support of one another. None of us can do it alone. None of us.
Without violating numerous code ethics, I will share this thought about my first week of practicum, working with people with a mental illness diagnosis:
We Can't Do It Alone
None of us can. But, we all continue to screw up and try, and with special emphasis on 'me' in the 'we'. Case in point...
The other day, while cleaning in 100 plus heat, (don't feel sorry for me, my own dumb choice), both my beloved Dyson stopped sucking and just kind of sat there. While trying to diagnose the problem, out plopped one of the lenses on my glasses. And, anyone with glasses knows that the microscopic screws holding glasses together are easily lost... So, here I am, on someone's bathroom floor, searching, with one eye, for a screw the size of a piece of lint, which would, in my warped mind, be the ticket to fixing this problem...
Uh, no. First of all, I am blind as a bat. I am wandering around looking for something to mend my glasses. I befriended the homeowner who was still at home. He was gracious enough to look for one of those glasses fix it kits in his junk drawer that, well, looks like everyone's junk drawer. But, he did find some other things he'd been missing... So, there's that.
So, I hobbled through the rest of the house, and drove the very best I could to Walgreens to find something to repair these glasses... And, I stil had a whole other house to clean (I had 3 that day and this was the final house).
Why did I think I could pull this off? One eye? No vacuum? But, by god, I was going to try and pull this off.... push, push, push...
While cursing in the front seat of my car, trying to fit the tiny little screw into my glasses, I realized this: I can't do this alone.
I raised the white flag and called the last homeowner. I explained my plight. She said, 'Rose, forget it, just reschedule'. Well, I couldn't as my schedule sucks eggs for the next, oh, semester. But, it was so kind of her to offer me an out.
Eventually, I managed to jam a screw into the frames and hobble to her house. 3 houses down, and one one-eyed Rose sweaty and pooped. But, here's the thing: why did I push myself? Why didn't I take the offer of rescheduling and move forward? I don't know. I push myself, over and over and over again. And, I try and do 'it' alone, whatever 'it' is.
The folks I have seen so far at practicum struggle in one way with this as well; trying to live this life, alone, doesn't work. It just doesn't. Therefore, making a phone call to schedule that first appointment with a therapist, or, with the primary care doc, or, the plumber, or the vacuum repair person, or whomever, is the way to go.
We are surrounded by resources. I love hearing stories of people who realize "Oh! I know someone who can do such and such to help your thing a ma jig!" That's the way it works, not cursing in a car trying to piece together a pair of glasses with the clock ticking.
Boy, I miss my dad. This is a conversation I would have with him, over dinner or sipping our respective diet cokes, mine with caffeine, his without. So, ask for help. Help is everywhere.
